Malcolm Gladwell has written several excellent books. One of my favorites is Outliers, in which Gladwell describes a close knit community of Italian-Americans who lived in Roseto, Pennsylvania. This community was studied by Dr Stewart Wolf and sociologist John Bruhn in the 1960’s because they had much lower incidences of heart disease, cancer, suicide, and other maladies than the general public.
The study wanted to determine whether the health benefits in the community were caused by diet, exercise or environment. After extensive research, they concluded that it was not red wine, olive oil, or the mountain air of Roseto that gave the community great health outcomes. The fact that they lived close together and cared for each other deeply were the reasons they were living healthier and happier lives.
In January the Wall Street Journal published an article called, “The Lifelong Power of Close Relationships.” The article reported on the findings of a Harvard study which has been tracking an original group of 724 men and women and 1300 of their descendants for the last 85 years.
Three generations of those in the study have been asked thousands of questions and been measured in hundreds of ways to determine what really makes people healthy and happy. They have discovered one crucial factor that links physical health, mental health and longevity. Surprisingly, it is not their careers, exercise or healthy diets that bring the biggest benefits to people, though those disciplines matter. The study clearly shows what matters more than anything else is close relationships.
Here is a quote from the article. In fact, close personal connections are significant enough that if we had to take all 85 years of the Harvard Study and boil it down to a single principle for living, one life investment that is supported by similar findings across a variety of other studies, it would be this: Good relationships keep us healthier and happier. Period.
We all want to live happy and healthy lives so we try many different things. Most people prioritize making money so they can be free to pursue the pleasures of life. We assume that wealth will give us the freedom to live where we want to live and do what we want to do every day. A strong desire for wealth assumes fulfillment comes from financial freedom. If that were the case, then the wealthiest people would be the happiest people on earth. Neither studies, nor personal experience bears that out. Wealthy people are as prone to addiction, depression, divorce and suicide as anyone else.
Jesus emphasized the Kingdom of God rather than wealth. Our relationship with God is what makes us secure and gives us peace. Peace and security are vital to the foundation of a fulfilled life. He said, “Blessed are the poor, because theirs is the Kingdom of God” (Luke 6:20). Often times the poor can see God’s faithfulness in providing for them. This gives them the blessing of feeling loved and cared for by the Creator himself. If you were broke in the past, you probably felt more loved when God provided for you than you feel today when you look at your bank balance.
In our affluent society, many people are preoccupied with health foods. Jesus cared a lot about health and healed people wherever he went. Yet, he deemphasized the Old Testament focus on diet when he said in Mathew 15:11, “It is not what goes into someone’s mouth that defiles them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.” Proverbs 17:1 says Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house full of feasting with strife.
Long before the Harvard Study began, Jesus Christ came to bring God’s kingdom to earth. He knew what people needed to experience health and happiness. He commanded us to love one another, serve one another, give to one another and forgive each other. These are the foundation stones for close relationships.
I have the privilege to travel and speak at many churches each year. It is not the biggest churches where the Holy Spirit always moves most powerfully. The Spirit brings God’s blessed presence when believers love one another, live holy lives and worship with sincere hearts.
I don’t spend time or money to try to promote my ministry. This is not because I don’t want to have a big impact for Jesus. I want to reach as many people as possible with the good news of God’s grace in Christ. I simply believe that the best way to impact people for the Lord is to deeply love the people who are already in my life.
I’m happy when I make new friends and my sphere of influence widens. However, the example and teachings of Jesus show us that crowds are not our goal, expanding God’s kingdom is our goal. We do this most effectively by sharing our faith in Jesus and loving one another.
Jesus did not wait for people to come to him. He reached out and initiated relationships. He said, “Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 13:34) We too need to constantly reach out to others. If you wait for people to call you and invite you into their lives, you will probably be disappointed by the results.
If Christ is in you, you have the power and ability to bless people. You either reach out with your love, or you waste your gifts. I email, text, send letters, write newsletters, make phone calls, and pray for the people I love. If the Lord gives me a word of encouragement or scripture for someone, I try to share it with them.
There are times when my calls and messages are not returned. One friend told me recently, “I saw that you were calling, but I didn’t want to talk to you.” I don’t like rejection, but my network of relationships is my field of ministry. I want to water and cultivate this field so that the people I love are blessed. If they don’t want my input that is their choice, however, I try to encourage my friends any way I can.
Our Father in Heaven loves us and from time to time he shows us that love in special ways. If we are doing our Father’s work, we too are loving his people. Jesus brought us a New Covenant. The New Covenant is a deep commitment from him to love us. In response we make a covenant to love him and to love one another for life.
Entering into covenant love with our Father in Heaven and one another brings more health and happiness than anything else.